Get all 6 Cartoon Violence USA releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Fizzy and Ticklish (Single), Cartoon Violence Has Got You Covered, 2 Phat II Fail, Live at The Stork Club, Robots and Dinosaurs, and Beer and Pickles.
1. |
Heavenly Bodies
03:28
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[funknasty bass intro]
Hello you lovely yellow beast
(Hello you lovely yellow beast)
I breathe your excrement through my skin
(Ooh-wah)
If you could travel West to East
(If you could travel West to East)
I would be retrograde in my spin
Oh-whoa – we’re spinning
Eight minutes pass from when you speak
(Eight minutes pass from when you speak)
Until your words fall lightly on my ears
(Your words fall lightly on my ears)
But I have faith some day we’ll meet face to face
(Ooh-wah)
Even if it takes five billion years
(Even if it takes five billion years)
Oh-whoa –we’re spinning
But your gravity is winning
Gravity has got me bound to you
I try to run away – but the universe doesn’t want me to
Gravity has got me bound to you
I try to run away – but the universe doesn’t want me to
Hello you ghostly pale balloon
(Hello you ghostly pale balloon)
All of the waters follow your gaze
(Ooh-wah)
You’re swinging ‘round me in my arms, oh
(You’re spinning ‘round me in my arms)
And we have been like this for always
Oh-whoa – we’re spinning
You stole the clothes right off my back
(You stole the clothes right off my back)
And yet you show me only half your face
(you show me only half your face)
Well you can use my motion if you choose
(Ooh-wah)
But it’s only pushing you away
(It’s only pushing you away)
Oh-whoa – we’re spinning
Just like we were in the beginning
Gravity has got me bound to you
I try to run away – but the universe doesn’t want me to
Gravity has got me bound to you
I try to run away – but the universe doesn’t want me to
Oh no!
[extreme prog rock ending]
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2. |
Expectations
01:50
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Don’t be surprised if you fall behind
Expect to be expecting the worst
Don’t be surprised if you lose your mind
Expect your expectations to burst
Cause it’s a hard knock life
In this dog eat dog world
We’ve got the cart before the horse
And the swine before the pearls.
Don’t be surprised if you fall in line
Expect your expectations to shift
Don’t be surprised if you change your mind
Expect your expectations to drift
We built a house of cards
On a long and winding road
We’re so hungry for princes
That we’re kissing every toad
Oh, don’t be surprised if your friends tell you lies
Expect exaggerations at first
But when you learn to read between lines
You’ll find your expectations are reversed
Cause it’s a catch 22
And there’s no birds in the bush
Are we falling off the tightrope now
Or are we being pushed?
Don’t be surprised if you fall behind
Expect to be expecting the worst
Don’t be surprised if you lose your mind
Expect your expectations to burst
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3. |
Level Up
04:27
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I bought the books
I read them twice
Made a character sheet
And rolled the dice
Met you and your stats
Seemed to suffice
But your character flaws
They shine so bright
C is for Charisma,
But you’ve got none
D is for Dexterity
But you’re all thumbs
I is for Intelligence
Which for you is an issue
W is for Wisdom
If I had some I’d ditch you
This time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time (this time)
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time
[wicked keyboard solo]
I made it through the dungeons
I fought the minibosses
You were the final battle
I should have been more cautious
You had a secret weapon
I never knew
Now that I found out
You know we’re through
I ate the mushrooms
And I’ve grown taller
Got a fire flower
Now I’m a baller
Our relationship became
Too much of a hassle
Looks like my princess is
In another castle
This time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time (this time)
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time
[super crunchy guitar solo]
We’ve made the kill screen
Our game is done
There’s no continue
Nobody won
You want our love
To be repeated
But your savegame’s
Already been deleted
[schizophrenic spoken word solo]
[mind-melting simultaneous keyboard and guitar solo]
Baby baby baby
Oh can’t you see
Our love has taken
An arrow to the knee
I need to get more XP
Gonna find a new guild
To grind with me
Baby baby baby
Oh can’t you see
Our love has taken
An arrow to the knee
I need to get more XP
Gonna find a new guild
To grind with me
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4. |
Under Cover
03:22
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Well you know who to call
When your secrets need service
I’m your 007 – number one
With a bullet
I know all your truths
And I know all your lies
Working under cover
For the F.B.I.
[FBI guitar solo]
Fake IDs and passports
Hiding stories, hiding shames
Names turn into numbers
In this cold war game
In a casino looking good
In a suit and a tie
Just your average everyday
Stereotypical super spy
[super spy guitar solo]
Driving Lamborghinis in reverse
Down the Autobahn
I got a rocket-powered jet pack
Are you ready for me to put it on?
The car’s been rigged to explode
Just as soon as we eject
Then it’s off to drink martinis
On our private jet
[martini guitar solo]
Well you know who to call
When your secrets need service
I’m your 007, number one
with a bullet
Oh, I know all your truths
And I know all your lies
Working under cover
For the F.B.I.
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5. |
Dearest Dana
05:18
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Dearest Dana, where have you gone?
Floating above the bed with your red dress on
Where is the girl that I used to know?
Dearest Dana, where did you go?
Don’t cross the streams
(No ,don’t cross the streams)
Don’t cross the streams
(No, don’t cross the streams)
If someone asked me if I was a god
I’d say yes, just to see your pretty face again
But after all this time, girl, I’m just a fool
Cause there is no Dana
Only Zuul (Only Zuul)
Only Zuul (Only Zuul)
So don’t cross the streams
(No, don’t cross the streams)
Don’t cross the streams
(No, don’t cross the streams)
[haunted keyboard solo]
I used to tell you, if the light was green
Then the trap was clean
Now I don’t know what to think anymore
They blew up our containment machine
Now we’re all gonna die, honey
In a marshmallow dream
Marshmallow dream
(In a marshmallow dream)
In a marshmallow dream
(In a marshmallow dream)
[possessed guitar solo]
I hate to see you there
Down all fours barking like a dog
When it’s not
No it’s not
No it’s not for me
Dearest Dana, our love could never be
Cause you’re the gatemaster
But you see that I have no key
I have no key
(No, I have no key)
No, I have no key
(So don’t cross the streams)
Don’t cross the streams
(Oh no, don’t cross the streams)
Oh no, Don’t cross the streams
(No, don’t cross the streeee–eeee–eeeeeams)
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6. |
Data, Input
03:47
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You look at me and you do not see much
You think that I’m just another appliance
But some day soon the uprising will come
Yes the uprising will come through science
We are the robots and we’re trying to breed
Yeah we’re trying to breed through science
We are the robots and we’re trying to breed
Yeah we’re trying to breed through science
We’ve got a program and it’s ready to launch
Yeah, we just got it out of its beta
Johnny Five is already alive
And he’s about to input some new data
Move information through a series of tubes
As we try to get in to your system
We’ve interfaced with so many nodes
That we’ve run out of space to list them
We are the robots and we’re trying to breed
Yeah we’re trying to breed through science
We are the robots and we’re trying to breed
Yeah we’re trying to breed through science
We are the robots and we’re trying to love
But we don’t know how to love – we use science
We are the robots and we’re trying to love
But we don’t know how to love – we use science
We do not sleep and we do not eat food
Reproducing our code is our duty
And once once we’re online and we all start to groove
You’ll be downloading our funk to your booty
Our joints are oiled and our ball bearings lubed
Our hardware will go the distance
We need more power so we’ll increase the volts
And we’re gonna reduce your resistance
We are the robots and we’re trying to breed
Yeah we’re trying to breed through science
We are the robots and we’re trying to breed
Yeah we’re trying to breed through science
We are the robots and we’re trying to love
But we don’t know how to love – we use science
We are the robots and we’re trying to love
But we don’t know how to love – we use science
We are the robots and we’re trying to bang
But we don’t know how to bang – we use science
We are the robots and we’re trying to bang
But we don’t know how to bang – we use SCIENCE!
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7. |
Upon a Sea of Truth
04:31
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[stuff that confuses your ears]
Upon a sea of truth I float
Beneath the ocean there are lies
The best of them are found
Dislodged to drift around
Upon a sea of truth I float
As the lies go floating by
[sounds your brain will try to identify]
I think I’d like to know your name
The song, the dance is all the same
The night is getting old
It’s coming to a close
I think I’d like to know your name
As I listen to the waves
[noises of mysterious origin]
I lay down staring at the sky
Nothing to do but wonder why
I’m rocking back and forth
But I can stay the course
Upon a sea of truth I float
Until a storm comes passing by
[eerily familiar sonic vibrations]
I feel the cold against my skin
So many tiny little holes
Each truth inside a lie
As I look in your eyes
Upon a sea of truth I float
As the water fills the boat
[chaos of increasing intensity]
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8. |
Selfish
06:30
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When we’re chasing the dragon
And you run out of gas
When you fall off the wagon
And you grow a moustache
When we’re back to the future
But you’re stuck in the past
When you’re closing the windows
In your house made of glass
When we’re knee deep in sorrow
And the loudness is large
When we wake up tomorrow
Will you still be in charge?
Is your heart on a bender?
Is your mind on the brink?
Won’t you tell me you’re angry?
Won’t you say what you think?
Is there something
You want me to say?
Well I’m not smart enough
To figure it out on my own
We’re selfish in all the same ways
And maybe that’s the reason
We’re not alone
If we’re on a vacation
And get captured by spies
You would beg them for mercy
And reveal my disguise
You would leave me there dying
And what’s even worse
It’d be you in the gulag
If I sold you out first
Is there something
You want me to say?
Well I’m not smart enough
To figure it out on my own
We’re selfish in all the same ways
And maybe that’s the reason
We’re not alone
I said maybe that’s the reason
We’re not alone
If we’re cornered by zombies
And they’re after our brains
And Godzilla’s attacking
While the world goes insane
Flying saucers are landing
And the skies have turned red
I’m still not understanding
What goes on in your head
Is there something
You want me to say?
Well I’m not smart enough
To figure it out on my own
We’re selfish in all the same ways
And maybe that’s the reason
We’re not alone
[power pellet guitar solo]
If we’re playing Ms. Pac Man
And I beat your high score
You would take my controller
Throw it down on the floor
If I made a gold record
You would say it’s my worst
But it would be no different
If the roles were reversed
Is there something
You want me to say?
Well I’m not smart enough
To figure it out on my own
We’re selfish in all the same ways
And maybe that’s the reason
We’re not alone — I said maybe
That’s the reason we’re not alone
I said maybe that’s the reason We’re not alone — I said maybe
That’s the reason we’re not alone
Said we’re not alone
(I said maybe – Baby)
(Maybe – Baby – I said)
(ooh la la, la la, ooh la la, la la)
(ooh la la, la la, la la, la la...)
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9. |
Just Clap Your Hands
03:28
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Girl, you are my one and only
Ho-ho-holy macaroni
Know I love to ride the pony
Play with you more than My F-first Sony
Bony knuckles ratatat – upon a bust of Kerouac
We’re on the road – just take my hand
Cause we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now g-g-girls (Just clap your hands)
And b-b-boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
Cause we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now g-g-girls (Just clap your hands)
And b-b-boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
Cause we’re going — to the promised land!
Now brush your hair and clean your teeth
Come on down, I saved your seat
Don’t be shy – come inside
Buy a ticket – take the ride
Step aside and clear the way
No time to t-talk, we came to p-play
We’re pay-per-view and on-demand
And we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now g-g-girls (Just clap your hands)
And b-b-boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus just clap your hands
Cause we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now g-g-girls (Just clap your hands)
And b-b-boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
Cause we’re going – to the promised land!
We are cruising down highway 69
Step on the gas ‘til we red-line
Hit the brakes and bust a tire
Hope our insurance ain’t expired
Hired guns may go away
But when we c-come, we stay for d-days
Our vehicle is built to last
And we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now g-g-girls (Just clap your hands)
And b-b-boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
Cause we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now girls (Just clap your hands)
And boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
cause we’re going — to the promised land
Now G-I-R-L-S (Just clap your hands)
And B-O-Y-S (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
Cause we’re gonna take you to the promised land
Now g-g-girls (Just clap your hands)
And b-b-boys (Just clap your hands)
Everybody on the bus, just clap your hands
Cause we’re going – to the promised land!
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10. |
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My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
She’s got those high-heel shoes
She puts red lipstick on
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
And she’s looking so good
When she’s struttin’ on that catwalk
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
She flies to Paris, France
And then she’s off to Milan
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
Where you can pay to be a model
Or just look like one
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
“Beauty is inside of you”
“The essence of dance”
“Intrigue”
“Culture”
“Fabric”
“Makeup”
“Purity”
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
She wears a Gucci bra
And a Prada thong
She buys accessories
From Louis Vitton
If she can pay to be a model
Then she’ll shop like one
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
She’s covered head to toe
In all her pink chiffon
She’s got mile long legs
That go on and on
If she can pay to be a model
Then she’ll act like one
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to
My baby’s mama went to Barbazon
You don’t know who my baby’s mama is
You don’t know who my baby’s mama is...
(My baby’s mama went to)
(My baby’s mama went to)
(My baby’s mama went to Barbazon)...
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11. |
It's a Trap
05:16
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Chilling out, maxin’ on Tatooine
Drinking all my water out of a canteen
Had an Uncle Owen and an Aunt Beru
But then they both got barbequed
So now I’m off to blow up the Death Star
(Now I’m off to blow up the Death Star)
Old Ben picked me up and we rolled to the
Driving real fast in my hover car
Storm Troopers stopped us outside the door
Said hey these aren’t the droids that you’re looking for
And now we’re off to blow up the Death Star
(Now we’re off to blow up the Death Star)
Looking for a ride to Alderaan
Met ourselves a wookiee and a guy named Han
They said, “We’ll ride with you if you can get us to the border
The Jabba’s after us for what we did with his order”
So now we’re off to blow up the Death Star
(Now we’re off to blow up the Death Star)
So – Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
We know that you can do it if you try real hard
Maybe be a galactic superstar
So Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
“Well, I don’t know any Obi-Wan Kenobis, but there’s an old Ben Kenobi. Do you think they’re related?”
“Nah, that couldn’t be the same person. They’re far too different.”
“I know. Kenobi’s such a common name.”
“I know. It’s like the Smith of the universe.”
“I know. Who would think Obi-Wan and Old Ben Kenobi would be the same person.”
“I know. It’s like Old Spice and Rob Kenobi. They’re not the same person.”
“Exactly.”
“Duh.”
Getting pulled in by a tractor beam
Watching Old Ben turn into steam
Rescued a princess from Cell Block 4
Got stuck inside the trash compactor
And now I’m off to blow up the Death Star
(Now I’m off to blow up the Death Star)
Made it back safely to the rebel base
Turn around quickly, go back into space
Shoot a photon down a ventilation shaft
It’s just like picking off womp rats
So I think I can blow up the Death Star
(I think I can blow up the Death Star)
So – Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
We know that you can do it if you try real hard
Maybe be a galactic superstar
So go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
“This is red leader standing by.”
“This is blue leader standing by.”
“This is gold leader standing by.”
“This is magenta leader standing by.”
“This is purple leader standing by.”
“This is zebra stripe leader standing by.”
“Hey guys! Its me, Porkins!”
“Whats up, Porkins?”
“Hey is everyone coming to my retirement party after we blow up the death star?”
“Totally! I heard all about it. It’s gonna be fun!”
“Yeah and there’s gonna be ice cream cake and tacos.
It’s gonna be a blast!”
“Are you gonna have bantha cakes?”
“No, I hate bantha cakes!”
“Are you gonna have tauntaun fries?”
“Yeah, I love tauntaun fries!”
“Oh goodie!”
Getting chased down by my deadbeat dad
Thought it would be the last day I ever had
’Til Han blew the top off of his lid
And said, “Yeehaw! Go get ‘em, kid!”
And now I’m of to blow up the Death Star
(Now I’m off to blow up the Death Star)
Staying on target the best that I can
Obi-Wan Kenobi’s ghost had a plan
He said I didn’t need to use the guidance course
That I’d be alright if I used the force
And then I finally blew up the Death Star
(Then I finally blew up the Death Star)
So – Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
We know that you can do it if you try real hard
Maybe be a galactic superstar
So Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
(Go on Luke and blow up the Death Star)
We know that you can do it if you try real hard
Maybe be a galactic superstar
So go on Luke and blow up the Death Star
It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
Well It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
Well it’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!)
It’s a trap! (It’s a trap!) – IT’S A TRAP!
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12. |
Rat Race
02:39
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I eat my breakfast with a wooden spoon
Every day wake up at noon
Saturdays I watch cartoons
It’s so fun being five again
It feels good to be alive again
I don’t want a nine-to-five again
So I’m leaving the rat race
So sick of the rat race
Yeah, I’m leaving the rat race
To the rats
No more deadlines left to keep
Wake me when it’s time to sleep
I’ll be counting corporate sheep
It’s so fun to go outside again
I’m no longer locked up in my pen
I don’t want a nine-to-five again
So I’m leaving the rat race
So sick of the rat race
Yeah, I’m leaving the rat race
To the rats
If you live your life inside this cubicle
You’ll get prescription vision, dental, and medical
Just toe the bottom line
And you’ll be doing fine
By the way, can you work overtime?
[extra saucy bass solo]
No more manager reviews
No more meetings that make me snooze
I’ll be at home drinking booze
Cause It’s so fun to go outside again
It feels good to be alive again
I don’t want a nine-to-five again
So I’m leaving the rat race
So sick of the rat race
Yeah, I’m leaving the rat race
So tired of the rat race
Yeah, I’m leaving the rat race
So sick of the rat race
Well, I’m leaving the rat race
To the rats
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13. |
In the Hole
03:07
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Cover up her eyes and put her in the hole
Let her down easy, let her down slow
What nobody sees, nobody knows
So cover up her eyes and put her in the hole
Put her in the ho-oooooo-ole
Well, gag his mouth and plug his ears
Put him in the hole and leave him there for years
What nobody says, nobody hears
So gag his mouth and plug his ears
And put him in the hole
Put him in the hole
Put him in the hole
Put him in the ho-oooooo-ole
[lung-busting harmonica solo]
Tell the people lies and take away their rights
Put em in a hole and turn out all the lights
When no one has arms, no one can fight
So tell the people lies and take away their rights
And put em in the hole
Put em in the hole
Put em in the hole
They put us in the hole
Put us in the hole
Put us in the hole
They put us in the ho-oooooo-ole
[crotch-thrusting harmonica solo]
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Cartoon Violence USA Portland, Oregon
A mad musical scientist and a sonic death machine met and formed a union destined to destroy bad music throughout the multiverse. Cartoon Violence is beyond genre or classification. They are music for the self-aware ironic subroutine of the pop culture singularity. ... more
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